"You don’t even want to know where I keep my glue sticks."
"As a fixie poet, I’m against two things: bike brakes and line breaks."
"I really love America? Or I’m mocking it? I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore."
Look at this fucking mounted head connection.
"Black sweatshirt? Check. Umbrella? Check. Wool cap? Check. Okay, yeah, I have everything I need for a hot, sunny summer day."
"We’re starting a new blog called ‘Look at these fucking hipsters of Walmart.’"
"The world is our outhouse!"
"Here’s a still frame from our new movie, The Other Scissor Sister.”
"This is great. But can our next Ambien hallway party have a Native American theme?"
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